Y 'all, the way this YouTube video I just watched read me for filth lol.
I am really loving Talktime so far. (It’s giving social media done right vibes lol.) I’m thankful for this platform because it matches so well with my mission of creating safe space for people to connect. I recently created a post asking for help with developing positive self-talk, which is one of my goals for 2021. Another lovely talktimer shared this video with me and I felt it was such a helpful resource and worth a share!
In the video, they discuss why it is easier for some people to defend themselves than others. The video explains that in order to protect yourself you have to be on your own side. It may seem like a simple concept, but some people interpret themselves as bad, wrong, shameful or a mistake. I could definitely relate.
The video goes on to explain that when we are mentally unwell in this area and face opposition we need help through self-compassion. We need to ask ourselves why this accusation feels so true.
According to the video, it is the enemy inside of us focusing on the past. We have self-hatred due to not being loved properly somewhere down the line.
They also posed a great question - how could someone facing the accusation that they are an idiot but who inside also has a voice telling them they are an idiot and much worse ever muster the strength to defend themselves? All they hear is “you are everything your enemy is saying and more” identifying with the aggressor.
The video states that this can become dangerous quickly. If the external enemy is vicious enough and joins with the internal enemy, the video acknowledges that there can be suicidal thoughts or suicide itself.
Throughout the pandemic and especially after watching this video it has become clear to me that I have not been loving myself properly. As I like to say, the little bully in my head has seemed to be running the show in 2020. But she’s getting fired in 2021 (claiming it).
The video mentions that the solution to this is love. We need to hear often that we are supported even through and despite our imperfections.
The video also discusses language and communication which has become such a topic of interest for me lately. They mentioned that if someone was speaking hate, shame or guilt to us when we were children, we will have started to speak like that to ourselves. Learning a different language as an adult is not easy. But learning to speak with self-compassion fluently to myself is my big goal for the new year. I will go into 2021 showing myself more grace throughout the process on my self-love journey.
Today I’ll start with the video’s suggestion of a few phrases of love for the self-hating part of myself. I’ll also take their advice to share that love with anyone else who may need it.