My 1st entry... depression

Depression has gotten the best of me lately … my insurance is limited on where to go for mental health .

(unappectable right?)

I’m tired of shutting down … etc blank steer , not thinking , not hearing , not eating , barely sleeping , not writing ( I write poems stories and songs) and I’m over it !

It also hasn’t help that my finances have became limited on the account of the Coronavirus too … so right now I have no money to spare and if anyone would like to just chat for free I would really appreciate that alot :heart:

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Kylie, I would love to chat with you. I hear you… I am a certified life coach. I went ahead and got the credentials because I had healed from depression and wanted to know how I can help others.
Any questions for me?

I wish you the best.

Kylie, I have entered a few periods of deep depression myself, which lasted for months. For my first bad depression, I got tired of sleeping in my chair all day long and decided I would put vinyl siding on my house to have a reason to wake up every day. I only had enough energy to do about 3 hours or less work every day, but slowly I was able to complete the task. That helped me get out of the depression.

The other two times I used walking on a treadmill to help me. After spending months on a couch both times, I finally was tired of doing nothing and hopped on the treadmill. It was really hard at first. I would get winded within 10 minutes. Eventually, I made it up to 20 minutes with no trouble and kept increasing the time to 1 hour. Now I walk on the treadmill about an hour 4-5 days a week because that helps me fall back into a depression.

Working a part-time job also helped me out of my latest depression. It took months for me to feel OK, but now I am productive and can work on hobbies, have focus, and feel wonderful for the most part. I also tweaked my medicines and that made a huge difference.

In addition, I cut back on alcohol consumption. When I don’t have something to do, I figure why not have a beer. But I love high gravity beers at like 8-12%, so after drinking one the part of my brain that says “you will feel like crap tomorrow” turns off and I will have another one. The next day I might have extra caffeine which interupts my sleep and the cycle can start again. But then I reset and feel better and stay away from beer as much as possible. Limiting my espresso intake to one per day also helped me. I need to get restful sleep, so drinking more than one espresso or even drinking one beer disrupts the deep sleep I need to feel refreshed the next day.

For me, making tasks on my phone helps me not go into a depression. I make it a goal to have at least one item to do each day. At 9AM, a reminder pops up on my phone to tell me the task I need to do, such as grocery shop, call someone, work on a jewelry project, do a specific chore, etc. That gives me some structure, and it really helps.

Hi Kylie,

I’m Kolbi! Nice to meet you and I’m glad you’re here! I am so sorry to hear that depression has gotten the best of you lately. I am also sorry to hear that your insurance is limiting as far as support with mental health and that your having financial struggles. I want to thank you for sharing your story and let you know that I would love to talk to you and am here for you if you need me.

In September, I was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety. I can relate to you when you mention feeling tired of shutting down. I can also relate to being tired of not eating. A few months ago I felt so emotionally overwhelmed especially with all of the isolation, uncertainty and loss that came with the pandemic. At that time, I was experiencing suicidal ideation and some days it was enough for me if I could just get out of bed and force myself through the work day. When I went to the doctor, I realized that I had lost 18 pounds from not eating. I wasn’t taking the time to prepare myself food throughout the day. When I recognized how detrimental the situation was becoming, I decided to take some time off of work and went on a medical leave in order to prioritize my mental health. This was a hard decision for me. I felt like such a failure at life.

Since then I have been on quite a wellness journey. Just this morning I was able to celebrate a small win. I have been doing a good job of making myself food and recognizing when I am hungry. Instead of ignoring my rumbling tummy like I used to, I try my best to take care of myself and tend to that need knowing it will help give me energy to get through the day.

I would love to hear some of your poems and songs some time if you’d be willing to connect with me. I am a creative as well, I am a collage artist!

Much love :butterfly: