How do you handle failure?

Hi! :blush:

I would like to start a thread of how you have overcome stress related to failure in your life - or what your outlook is like after having faced failure.

If you also have any examples or advice, I would love to hear it as well. I think this topic could really help some people!


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Hi Ayla - Failure should be looked at as just a lessoned learned and getting you one step closer to success! Everyone has “failures” but no everyone is upset by them. The “Mindset for Success” and healing your Past Childhood Trauma is imperative to being Successful in ALL Life areas - including Love relationships, career, parenting and in business. “stress” is just Life happening - again, are you emotionally Healthy to handle the stress, or do you get stuck in a “Victim Mentality”, with negative, fear based thoughts and actions? The great news is Childhood Trauma can be healed - if you want more and FREE Information on this get my eBook at my website - and take the 4 Free Love tests while your there! Best of Luck, Coach Riana Milne


Well said! Thank you for adding your expertise :slight_smile:

What type of failure are you trying to overcome Ayla? Professional? Emotional? Something else?

I have very low confidence, motivation and expectations, so failure terrifies me. But honestly, what has worked the Best for me is provoking more failure, intentionally until you get used to it.

I noticed failure becomes dramatic simply because we are not used to it. I know it may not be the healthiest way but I’ve made huge progress thanks to it .

Advice or not, I’m sharing my experience too :slight_smile:

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Anything that is helping you grow and move through failure is great! As long as you are happier and working towards success, that is all that truly matters.

I’m not currently working through failure, but it helps to remind myself that failure doesn’t mean the end of something, just that I get to try again or change direction. Sometimes failing means that it wasn’t for you, or that it shows you can work harder.

I love failure because it shows me what I can improve on, and what to work on next!

Thank you so much for sharing your advice and experience! :blush:

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Hello Ayla

For me love it is a mindset.

So my mindset is that failure is not negative, it is a learning experience that has been labeled as negative by society, which makes you feel bad about yourself, creates doubt… What if you change your relationship with that word?

It is not fail or succeed for me, both are learning experiences. The failures in my opinion is the worlds way of preparing for what is to come, if you are willing to learn the lesson. To succeed in life we have to know how to fail, that is how we learn and come to eventually succeed in life.

Society has labeled everything in our life and we give those things meaning of good or bad. This is a very systematic and a limited way of thinking about our life experiences.

Where did you learn that failure is a negative thing?
How does it serve you to think of failure as a negative experience?
What do you typically do when you feel that you have failed at something?
How does that serve you?

If you are failing Alya, you are on your way to succeed, you are doing something sister, you are not sitting ideal just dreaming of your life, you are living it. Part of living life, is falling down sometimes, so that we can get back up again and see how powerful, resilient and able we truly are.
You my friend are limitless and resourceful.
You have the ability to learn from this experience, which is surely preparing you for the story to come. You get to decide if you are going to waste weeks sitting in the “perceived sadness of failure” or take note of what you did? what did not work? what you can do better?

Just refine baby, keep at it, you will eventually get there.

All is necessary for your growth sugar.

Much love
from a sister out there

@AylaJohnston Hey Ayla! My name is Joshua from @getupitsmonday (motivational page on IG) and I have a pretty interesting story regarding the massive failures that I’ve went through. I would love to discuss with you how I coped with my shortcomings and accepted my failures. However, I would like to discuss this in private because I don’t want to flood the thread and put all my personal business out there :rofl: so please DM me on IG @getupitsmonday or email me at so we can talk :grin:

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I find the need to define failures and successes very limiting. A long term solution might be to start approaching your life goals in a different way. I am a composer, so failure tends to be about specific work or my lack of initiative at times. However, I no longer judge myself for my mistakes or problems with writing because I believe in my process and my potential.

Most failure is wrapped around goal-making. Breaking the habit of setting goals for yourself can be helpful. Replace short term goals with a way of life that makes you feel fulfilled. So instead of thinking: “I want to achieve this,” think “I want to live this way so that automatically I will get closer to achieving this.” Or even better: “I want to live this way, and I will embrace anything that comes through that lifestyle.”

The next step would be to transform your goals into the type that work far in the future. That way, when something goes wrong, you have plenty of time to work your way out of it, there is no worry of success being taken away. Another aspect of this change is letting go of comparisons. Instead of worrying whether you meet some exterior expectation or internal idea of the ideal (taken from your environment), root yourself in a belief system of some sort - religion, lifestyle, self-potential, self-worth. Take the leap!

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Thanks for the great question Ayla. Once I realized that there’s nothing called good or bad and just part of a great plan, I stopped sulking in failure. I validate my disappointment and then move ahead to try different things again.


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