Finding my spark

I just watched the new Disney movie Soul on the day after Christmas and I really enjoyed it. I love how the movie explored so many important topics and concepts in such a relatable and adorable way.

Watching the movie made me reflect a lot about my own life.

For a while, I’ve been trying to shake what feels like apathy toward life.

I am diagnosed with major depression, anxiety, and trichotillomania (a mental disorder classified under Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders and involves recurrent, irresistible urges to pull hair from the scalp) . I also struggle with passive suicidal ideation (when you wish you were dead or that you could die, but you don’t actually have any plans to commit suicide).

When I think about the messages in the movie and about little Soul 22 who did not want to live on earth, I honestly was like I feel you sis lol. I loved how 22 talked about always thinking there was something wrong with her or that she was not good enough for living. Again, I could honestly relate.

I also really enjoyed the main character Joe. I loved how the movie depicted the relationship with his mom and him not wanting to disappoint her. I could relate because I struggle with similar feelings. It’s hard when your parents have a different definition of success or different expectations than you do. Ultimately, I really enjoyed the dialogue between Joe and his mom, when he was finally honest with her about how he felt. Watching that scene gave me hope for building a better relationship with my own parents. I enjoyed watching Joe and his mom’s perspectives unfold. On Joe’s side, he felt like he couldn’t be truthful with his mom about his true passion for music and goals for his life because he felt she would never approve. On his mom’s side, she was just worried about him and didn’t want to see him struggle in the ways his father had as a musician. I love that. Just goes to show that neither of them are really wrong. They love each other, and are looking at the situation from two different perspectives.

Overall, I think the movie is so wonderful. It inspires me. As I reflect on it, it showed me that I cannot allow the opinions or expectations of others to hold me back from what is for me.

My goal is to live authentically and in my truth. I want to feel more confident showing up in all spaces as my authentic self. I don’t want to be imprisoned by fear, self-doubt, or even validation or the lack there of from others.

This is my life and I really feel like I am on my way to finding my spark.

What are your thoughts about Soul? Any significant takeaways? I’d love to hear from anyone who is willing to connect or share! :relaxed:

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