Do you ever just feel different?

For a majority of my life, I’ve always felt very different from the people around me.

My parents are quite traditional, conservative and very religious.

Personally, I believe in God and I believe its important to build a personal relationship with God (I’m on a faith/ spiritual journey and I have a ways to go) but some things about organized religion and just the hypocrisy and judgement of some church folks always rubbed me the wrong way.

Growing up, I remember often feeling like the odd ball out within my family. I remember feeling afraid to show up as my authentic self, in fear of judgement or criticism from my parents. I remember always wondering why they were so strict about things and why a lot of things were the way they were. And I remember not knowing how to communicate with my parents in the slightest.

It doesn’t help much that I am super sensitive.

I am a very emotional and soft person. I love to have meaningful conversations with open minded people within safe space (judgement free zones). I love dramas and romance. I love expressing myself through art. It’s honestly difficult for me to watch anything involving any violence. When global tragedies strike and when I hear about tragic news it really takes a toll on me emotionally and physically sometimes.

So you guessed it, I’ve been doing just peachy through this global pandemic. :upside_down_face:

lol nah this pandemic completely threw me for an entire loop and a half.

I am also an overthinker.

Through all the isolation, uncertainty, loss and grief of 2020, I hit what felt like my breaking point.

But the incredible thing (to God be the glory). I haven’t broken and I’m still here.

I remember having such a difficult time coping with so much death and grief this year. Oluwatoyin Salau’s murder hit me especially hard. I remember thinking about how she was only 19 and how she was so viciously assaulted and murdered by someone disguised as offering help.

What a sick world.

At that time, I was also in the process of transitioning to a new role. Thankfully I was able to work from home, but the transition wasn’t easy and I was not adjusting to the job as well as I had hoped. I felt inadequate and like a failure. I also felt unsatisfied and meaningless in life.

I was having a rough time to say the least. There were multiple transitions happening in my life all at once. I was also in the process of moving to a new home. To be honest I was just trying to adjust to adulting in general.

I am learning that transitions are one of my opportunities for growth.

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Thanks for sharing CollageCorner!
Happy to have you here.

So, how did you navigate it all?

Wishing you the best!

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Hi Sunny,

Thank you so much for responding! Happy to be here and thank you!

& I am so glad you asked. I had to take a sudden pause from sharing because I joined a virtual vision board party event. Please take a look at my next journal entry, I plan to continue sharing my story!

Cool

Thanks for responding

Can’t wait to check it out.

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